There’s Something About Diana

Before I start writing this piece, I promise myself that I will not be overly judgmental. That.. perhaps ..

1, What appeared in today’s Star is just an excerpt of a REAL lengthy interview with Diana Danielle. For those who as ignorant as myself over Diana and her body of work, her instant CV would be something like this: 19 & an actress. I also found out that Diana seems to have a lot of films under her belt – according to this article written, she has appeared in 10 films. Taking into consideration of her age and with that kind of volume of acting, I won’t be suprised if she’s started to ‘act’ ever since her formative ‘years’ in the womb, itself.

2, I also hoped that with all her experiences handling the media, what’s written is an edited version of what she actually say. Due to the lengthy explanatory part, the paper has to edit it to fit the space.

3, That she is actually not that dumb and fluffy or in other word : Bimbo!

11th November 2010 edition of The Star

KUALA LUMPUR: Actress Diana Danielle who stars in the hugely successful musical film Magika, is planning to release a self-composed song next year, which she describes as “heartbreaking.” Songwriting is something she’s been doing for years but she has never released any songs professionally. “I’ve been having tunes in my head for the past few years but this is a song that I feel I need to put out because it means a lot to me,” says the 19-year-old.

Heartbreaker: Diana describes her soon to be released song as ˜heartbreaking’.

She described the song as an acoustic rock ballad, which was entitled Tak Pernah Ada. Diana said she was trying to release the song early next year. “I don’t know if I’ll do an entire album as I still want to concentrate on acting, which is my passion,” she said. Diana acted in her first movie, Idola, and has 10 movies under her belt to date. But Magika might prove to be her biggest yet. It has grossed RM4mil in cinemas and swept the recent Filem Festival Malaysia awards. “It’s a really fun movie. Friends who have never seen a Malay movie before told me that they’ve seen it five or six times,” she says.

Diana is a busy woman these days with three movies coming out next year “ Hanyut, Bara Jiwa and Dalam Botol in which she plays a transexual’s love interest. She is also pursuing a degree in psychology. The combination of movies, studies and music can be tiring for Diana.

So, how does she unwind? She enjoys spending time with her horse, Tic Tac, which she named after the sweets brand. “Yes, I was with my horse the other day. I think he was jealous that I was feeding the other horses. So, he bit me,” she said.

That was the article.

I seriously hope that this interview was done, say 5 – 6 months ago, and resurfaced today because there’s an empty space that needs filling up…by something really stupid.

I don’t know about you but, sometime .. there are a few beautiful people who are not really that, hmm..smart! Or, maybe they are smart, but their brains took a holiday on that specific day of interview.

Someone have got to enlighten Diana that when one is by her/himself and starts to “hear” music or voices, that’s a sign of, err..lunacy, and however popular or known you are by the public, you should not divulge that kind of information. Why? For fear someone nasty and bitchy plus sarcastic, calls you ‘Crazy!’ – as in ‘Here comes crazy!’ which I am about to, yes proclaim to the world now.

I find it even disturbing when while divulging her madness to the public, she add a twist – ‘studying psychology’. But hey, maybe she missed the class on Schizophrenia due to her hectic schedule. We will never know nor will we ever care.

I am also somewhat taken with how industrious this young girl is. I mean, I have like 24-hours a day to live but somehow, again .. perhaps, God extended the timing in her days due to her status as celebrity, as looking at her tight schedule of acting, studying, attending events and ‘hearing never-released-and-never-head-of music in her head’ .. she forgot one important thing that we all mere mortals need: sleep!

Since I am a nobody myself, but maybe (who knows!) once God upgraded a person from mere nobody to celebrity, sleeping is no longer necessary and sanity is an option, but again, that’s me as mere mortal talking!

Talking about sanity .. how can you as the sole person who hear this unheard and unreleased song label it as ‘heartbreaking’? Or, what is heartbreaking, per se? I can understand when an artist claimed her soon-to-be-released song as ‘pop’, ‘light’, ‘mellow’ .. but heartbreaking? Will the nation’s suicidal rate increased by 100% after the release of this ‘heartbreaking’ song, or will we be heartbroken after listening to this sad-excuse-for-a-song? Lemme guess….

Well, look at the bright side .. though we whine and bitch about these celebrities for saying the darnest things, how many of us own a horse? Even with questionable sanity  et al, Diana proves that sometime playing bimbo pays, and if all fails .. she has Tic Tac to run off into the sunset.

Biggest Loser Asia : Cutting The Fats From Fiction

Is obesity the new black?

That was what came to mind when I watched Biggest Loser Asia. The reality TV show which is in its second season about groups (two) of people (fat or obese, more accurately) compete with one another to lose weight with a cash prize of USD 100,000 as the bait.

That sums up the programme in a nutshell, and to be honest, I like this show, amongst all the reality trash that are currently being produced or aired at this point of time.

I mean, what not to like? After all, it emphasizes on being healthy. Being aware that similar to the spiderman’s tagline ‘with power comes responsibility’, BLA spin would be ‘with obesity comes death’. True to the nature of mankind, we all want to die pretty and not as some fat fuck that kicked the bucket that  a crane was needed to lift the body. Yes! We are all guilty of being narcissistic, and that is not a bad thing, at least to me.

But, though it’s an entertaining, uplifting and inspiring show.. I find myself deep in series of questions…

One – How in the hell someone can end up being that gargantuan? Yes! I seriously would want to know.  I was about to add ‘how can it be possible for a person to be that huge’, but looking at few of the contestants, I guess it is possible after all. It’s atrocity and seriously, repulsive. I’ve never had problems with weight, I eat as much as I want and at any given time, Carbs. Fats. Anything that contribute to weight-issue meant nothing to my body, and that’s the truth. For few months, I experimented eating fattening food after midnight and go straight to bed. All I managed to gain was 2 kg, then I got sick for 2-3 days, my weight reduced back to 60kg; my original weight. I, for the life of me, can never exceed that 60kg mark, so when I saw 20 something with weight more than 100kg, I am fucking gobsmacked. What in the hell that these people ate? Livestocks?

Two – As with all reality-shit, the drama factor was played out to the hilt – with everyone concerns about their health, their mortality, low self esteem issue, wanting to be beautiful and normal,,you know, the usual blah blah that salesman always pitched to you trying to persuade you to buy something, but my question is, if you look in the mirror and only half of you reflected in it, wouldn’t you being a sane-minded person to automatically wanting to do something about it? Like me being underweight, I automatically go on an eating spree so that I can gain weight. I however do not sit at home waiting for some TV show offering me money holding auditions  so I can be ‘inspired’ and ‘motivated’ to gain weight, well, in the BLA case, to lose all their fats.Is it me or they’re just bunch of lazy materialistic publicity-hungry fat fuck whores? Well..if it look like shit and smell like shit,..it MUST be shit, right?

Three – What is it about fatties having low self-esteem issue and the moment they’ve shed some weight, they’ve become egoistical bastards? You know what I mean. When you first met them, they speak so soft as if afraid that people will look at them in awe – “Wow! Godzilla can speak!”, showing signs of someone with self-esteem issues but few episodes later, with their reflections having some semblance of a slightly pudgy person, they speak on and on with increased volume per sentence, which made you lament and missed the fat fuck they once were.

Fourth and lastly – In the last few episodes I saw, they’ve had some revelation over how to reduce or obliterate the carbs, the proteins, the fats and the what-have-yous in asian food..which made me wonder, were they fat and dumb then, as well? With the whole world obsessed with being healthy and skinny or losing weight since 1980s; aerobic and shit, haven’t none of them be introduced to Mr, Internet? Just a simple click and voila, you can get all the information that you need to lose all those livestocks you swallowed whole. Please explain!

Critiquing aside. I can’t wait for the show to be on or at least till my Nai won the coveted title and the USD 100,000

Catch Biggest Loser Asia (Season 2) on Astro Channel 702

Mari Menari: When Crazies Came To Party

I, sometime am baffled by the audacity and the atrociousness of people seeking their 15 minutes of fame. I understand that some of us are born with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), I can totally relate to those suffering the Multiple Personality Disorder as well, but what I can’t comprehend is when a person ‘suffering’ from both disorders grew up believe steadfastly the notion that to be among mere normal mortals and be accepted into the warm arms of society is by entering a reality TV show, and not just any reality TV show but, the lowest of the low; MARI MENARI (Let’s Dance) on Astro Ria Channel 104.

A reboot of ‘Sehati Berdansa’, a poor man’s extremely sad and pathetic version of America’s Dancing With The Stars, one cannot describe how bad it was that as a poor person like myself, an association earlier coined, implies itself an extremely humiliating, hurtful and downright degrading comparison. Imagine the horror of horrors, when it is newly packaged as Mari Menari.

If Sehati Berdansa was about local married-plus-having-two-left-feet celebs, err dancing their ass off trying to raise money for charity organisations, Mari Menari features unknown ‘dancing’ their ass off for a monetary grand prize. I would like to know what kind of acid the programming and content department of Astro were on when the creator of the project pitched this show.

With Sehati Berdansa, I can forgive the lack of talent as it was for a noble cause..plus being a non-celeb, I had a wicked sense of curiosity and expectation of celebs to fail or fell, literally! but unknown? I didn’t care that much of their existence before why should I start now? Don’t even get me started on their ability, capacity or capability of being a dancer or dancing. Anyone can be a dancer just like anyone can fuck and just like the latter, you are either legendary or just plain horrific but from what I’ve witnessed so far, the experience is similar to,err watching a car crash incident. in slow motion. repeatedly!

Two hours of you gasping. Unbelieving what is unfolding right in front of your eyes. You will cringe. You will be traumatised. You will even swears off dancing for good. If only they have show such as this for smokers.

If you’re looking for bad TV. This is IT! How bad it is? Well, let me elaborate …

Have you by any chance seen footages or pictures of Mardi Gras, or Halloween party, Yes? Now, try to have a mental picture of it but change the setting to say, a mental institution. Yes. Imagine some crazy person putting on costumes and moving their limbs – when I say moving, imagine them flapping, kicking, waving and flailing as if they are, hmmm.. drowning. I am not a professional dancer but those will be exactly how I would describe to define their kind of movement, errr, dancing. Only with drowning, there’s a certain grace to it, if I might also add

I am aware that they’re not professionals, but I am so cock-sure sure that auditions were held. I doubt the producers would stepped out of his office one fine day to, say the street outside his office, point fingers at passerby and screamed ‘You! You! You! are all going to compete in this new show of mine’, but somehow, though it may sounded fictional, I wouldn’t dismiss that theory. Well, not as yet.

Let me ask you a question. If you’re a producer of a dance-programme that would appear in the idiot box, aware that you have to cast practically talentless unknown to flail around and ambitiously harbour the idea for the show to, at least lasts for few seasons – as your claim to fame and getting the public like myself to participate in sms-voting – as your claim to side income via revenue from those sms-es, wouldn’t you ensure that at least there are some eye candy for us – as your way of a heartfelt gratitude? Well, logically that would be it, but in this case, the audience are punished for their votes. It is sad to see talentless lunatics flailing miserably on TV, but do they have to dress the part as well? If you think Lady Gaga has, let me use a fashion statement here, ‘fierceness’ and the balls to flaunt in weird and crazy outfits, her Ladyship hasn’t met the cast of Mari Menari. They made Lady Gaga looks like a nun. I am ignorant in fashion, but feather boa, glitters, sequins, coloured papers, artcard – stand alone or combination between two or all of them does not and will not equals fashion. Trash, yes. Fashion statement, no..well, unless you trying to state the obvious which is you are mentally retarded and you dress yourself in the dark by a blind stylist – even I wouldn’t go that low to insult the handicapped. Again, cast members or inmates from Mari Menari asylum, what were you thinking or what are you on? Why are you punishing the world for your disorders? The world is not responsible for you suffering ADD and MPD simultaneously and it certainly will not contribute to your grand delusional agenda of being a publicity whore.

You. Just. Don’t. Deserve. It.

And, what’s with the drama? I comprehend the need for relevancy and connecting with the audience, but .. crying? because they miss home, son, daughter or family? Questions: where were you when the rules & regulations were discussed and are you by any chance deaf as well?

To the cast members and future reality TV contestants – please do not show vulgar emotions such as crying because you miss (fill in the blank). You know why? First, no one forced you into entering this reality-shit. Two, if you in a show with a probability of winning money, and you had an epiphany that you’re actually talentless and by crying you’d hope to gain more votes or sympathy or anything that ensure your survival for the coming week, though I applaud you for being one fucked-up manipulative bastards or bitches, truth be told, the audience are not that stupid. Well, if you misses them so much, worry not.. the audience will send you a-packing before the end of the show. I guarantee you that! Lastly, as much as we love all publicity whores before and after you, we, the audience love ourselves more. Unlike God, our love and affection comes with a condition; you entertain us by being silly and stupid to show us that we, the audience are better than you ever will. In other words, we love creating a delusional plus fucked-up ‘celebrity’ and witness you spiraling down to obscurity, again. It’s our way of playing God and reminding you what you should’ve known: You are the audiences’ bitch!

Let’s dance, you asked? No, thanks!

 

Schizo on the dancefloor

When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be crazy...