Mari Menari: When Crazies Came To Party

I, sometime am baffled by the audacity and the atrociousness of people seeking their 15 minutes of fame. I understand that some of us are born with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), I can totally relate to those suffering the Multiple Personality Disorder as well, but what I can’t comprehend is when a person ‘suffering’ from both disorders grew up believe steadfastly the notion that to be among mere normal mortals and be accepted into the warm arms of society is by entering a reality TV show, and not just any reality TV show but, the lowest of the low; MARI MENARI (Let’s Dance) on Astro Ria Channel 104.

A reboot of ‘Sehati Berdansa’, a poor man’s extremely sad and pathetic version of America’s Dancing With The Stars, one cannot describe how bad it was that as a poor person like myself, an association earlier coined, implies itself an extremely humiliating, hurtful and downright degrading comparison. Imagine the horror of horrors, when it is newly packaged as Mari Menari.

If Sehati Berdansa was about local married-plus-having-two-left-feet celebs, err dancing their ass off trying to raise money for charity organisations, Mari Menari features unknown ‘dancing’ their ass off for a monetary grand prize. I would like to know what kind of acid the programming and content department of Astro were on when the creator of the project pitched this show.

With Sehati Berdansa, I can forgive the lack of talent as it was for a noble cause..plus being a non-celeb, I had a wicked sense of curiosity and expectation of celebs to fail or fell, literally! but unknown? I didn’t care that much of their existence before why should I start now? Don’t even get me started on their ability, capacity or capability of being a dancer or dancing. Anyone can be a dancer just like anyone can fuck and just like the latter, you are either legendary or just plain horrific but from what I’ve witnessed so far, the experience is similar to,err watching a car crash incident. in slow motion. repeatedly!

Two hours of you gasping. Unbelieving what is unfolding right in front of your eyes. You will cringe. You will be traumatised. You will even swears off dancing for good. If only they have show such as this for smokers.

If you’re looking for bad TV. This is IT! How bad it is? Well, let me elaborate …

Have you by any chance seen footages or pictures of Mardi Gras, or Halloween party, Yes? Now, try to have a mental picture of it but change the setting to say, a mental institution. Yes. Imagine some crazy person putting on costumes and moving their limbs – when I say moving, imagine them flapping, kicking, waving and flailing as if they are, hmmm.. drowning. I am not a professional dancer but those will be exactly how I would describe to define their kind of movement, errr, dancing. Only with drowning, there’s a certain grace to it, if I might also add

I am aware that they’re not professionals, but I am so cock-sure sure that auditions were held. I doubt the producers would stepped out of his office one fine day to, say the street outside his office, point fingers at passerby and screamed ‘You! You! You! are all going to compete in this new show of mine’, but somehow, though it may sounded fictional, I wouldn’t dismiss that theory. Well, not as yet.

Let me ask you a question. If you’re a producer of a dance-programme that would appear in the idiot box, aware that you have to cast practically talentless unknown to flail around and ambitiously harbour the idea for the show to, at least lasts for few seasons – as your claim to fame and getting the public like myself to participate in sms-voting – as your claim to side income via revenue from those sms-es, wouldn’t you ensure that at least there are some eye candy for us – as your way of a heartfelt gratitude? Well, logically that would be it, but in this case, the audience are punished for their votes. It is sad to see talentless lunatics flailing miserably on TV, but do they have to dress the part as well? If you think Lady Gaga has, let me use a fashion statement here, ‘fierceness’ and the balls to flaunt in weird and crazy outfits, her Ladyship hasn’t met the cast of Mari Menari. They made Lady Gaga looks like a nun. I am ignorant in fashion, but feather boa, glitters, sequins, coloured papers, artcard – stand alone or combination between two or all of them does not and will not equals fashion. Trash, yes. Fashion statement, no..well, unless you trying to state the obvious which is you are mentally retarded and you dress yourself in the dark by a blind stylist – even I wouldn’t go that low to insult the handicapped. Again, cast members or inmates from Mari Menari asylum, what were you thinking or what are you on? Why are you punishing the world for your disorders? The world is not responsible for you suffering ADD and MPD simultaneously and it certainly will not contribute to your grand delusional agenda of being a publicity whore.

You. Just. Don’t. Deserve. It.

And, what’s with the drama? I comprehend the need for relevancy and connecting with the audience, but .. crying? because they miss home, son, daughter or family? Questions: where were you when the rules & regulations were discussed and are you by any chance deaf as well?

To the cast members and future reality TV contestants – please do not show vulgar emotions such as crying because you miss (fill in the blank). You know why? First, no one forced you into entering this reality-shit. Two, if you in a show with a probability of winning money, and you had an epiphany that you’re actually talentless and by crying you’d hope to gain more votes or sympathy or anything that ensure your survival for the coming week, though I applaud you for being one fucked-up manipulative bastards or bitches, truth be told, the audience are not that stupid. Well, if you misses them so much, worry not.. the audience will send you a-packing before the end of the show. I guarantee you that! Lastly, as much as we love all publicity whores before and after you, we, the audience love ourselves more. Unlike God, our love and affection comes with a condition; you entertain us by being silly and stupid to show us that we, the audience are better than you ever will. In other words, we love creating a delusional plus fucked-up ‘celebrity’ and witness you spiraling down to obscurity, again. It’s our way of playing God and reminding you what you should’ve known: You are the audiences’ bitch!

Let’s dance, you asked? No, thanks!

 

Schizo on the dancefloor

When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be crazy...